The Crackleberry Tales
by PearlyJammer
Summary: Subliminal messages lead to a few interesting dreams


Title: The Crackleberry Tales 

Author: Autumn 

E-mail: eddievedderismylife@hotmail.com 

Category: Sillyfic!!! 

Rating: AI for Absolute Insanity 

Pairing: Rogue/Logan, kind of. 

Summary: Uh, Rogue and Jubilee talk out some of Rogue's more creative thoughts involving Logan.  Ah-hem, Mind.  Gutter. OUT! 

Jubilee didn't know what to do.  Her best friend had gotten what she wanted, right?  "Dude, what's the problemo, isn't this what you always wanted?" 

"I think so, but Jubes, I had the weirdest like vision about this..... 

Rogue and her baby were peacefully lying on the bed that she shares with Logan.  All of a sudden said male burst through the door with a blonde woman who is obviously a stripper. 

"Logan?" 

"Oh, hey babe.  Hey could you take the rugrat somewhere else for about 15 minutes?  I met Chrissy at a bar, and I've just gotta fuck her." 

"LOGAN! Don't the wedding vows you took mean anything?" 

"Oh those things.  Uh, well you see Marie, it goes something like this..... 

(Logan bursts into song) 

**When I said that I'd be faithful **

**When I promised I'd be true **

**When I swore that I could never **

**Be with anyone but you **

**When I told you that I loved you **

**With those tender words that I spoke **

**I was only kidding, **

**Now, can't you take a joke? **

"Okay chica, you really need to rest that overactive imagination of yours." 

"Kay, but that's not even the only one I had!" 

"Rogue, I know I'm going to regret this, but what were the other ones like? 

"Well...................... 

Rogue is walking outside and she notices Logan, duffel bag in tow hopping onto Scott's bike.  He's just about to kick it to life when, 

"Ah Logan, ya going on a trip, sweetie?" 

"Oh yeah.  Look it's been fun and all Marie, but I'm peelin' out now.  See ya." 

"Um okay, what the hell happened to what you told me last night?" 

Logan roles his eyes, "Look, Marie" 

**When I said that I need you baby **

**When I told you that I really care **

**When I said that I can't live without you **

**When I said I'd follow you anywhere **

**When I said you could always trust me **

**When I said I'd never leave you flat **

**Well guess what?  I was only kidding baby **

**I can't believe you fell for that, you're so gullible! **

At this point, Remy, Hank, Scott, and Bobby come onto the scene dressed like Logan, and start dancing in a freakish Backstreet-Boys-from-hell style.  Logan heads into the middle singing the lead vocals with the other four backing him up. 

**(I was only kidding) I was only kidding **

**(I was only kidding) You thought that was for real? **

**(I was only kidding) I was only kidding **

**Now I'm sorry if you misunderstood, but the fact remains **

**(I was only kidding) I was only kidding **

**(I was only kidding) Baby baby, I was... **

**(I was only kidding) **

**Well I guess I got you pretty good!  Now listen...... **

"Okay, Rogue babe, that would never happen.  I mean Logan would NEVER say 'peel out.'" 

"Thanks Jubes.  I really gotta stop sniffing that airplane glue." 

"What?!" 

"Huh?  Oh nevermind." 

Jubilee shot her friend a my-God-I-am-only-humoring-you- because-I-know-you're-insane look.  She kindly gestured for her to continue. 

"Jubes, I don't know what to do.  Every time I see Logan I run away screaming because I think something horrible is going to happen.  It's starting to really affect me, ya know?" 

"Uh-huh, um there aren't any more are there?" 

"Oh, okay the one I had today was the most depressing one yet." 

"Oh, joy, the rest have been just peachy Rogue." 

"Shut up, just listen Jubes.  This one is about me and Logan getting married. 

Reverend Quacker stood at the altar and turned to address the couple before him. 

"Do you, Marie Angelica Gordon take Logan, uh yeah, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" 

Turning to face him, Rogue's radiant face beamed as she uttered the two most sacred words known to man, "I do." 

"Cool.  Now do you Logan, take what's-her-face to be your wife?" 

"Actually.  Marie, I have something to tell you," Logan stated as he turned to his bride-to-be, "hit it, Scooter." 

Music suddenly filled the church, and Logan began singing: 

**When I said you ought to marry me **

**When I said that we should settle down **

**Well I was pullin' your leg there honey **

**I was just foolin' around **

**You see-I never meant to hurt anyone **

**I was only kidding baby **

**Why don't you put that gun down? **

**Let's talk this over **

**(I was only kidding) I was only kidding **

**(I was only kidding) I was only kidding **

**(I was only kidding) I was only kidding **

**(I was only kidding) I didn't lie to you! **

**I was only kidding.. Yes indeed **

**(I was only kidding) Baby baby, you know **

**(I was only kidding) Hey! **

"Rogue, chica two words.  Psycho.  Therapy.  And this time, not for Logan." 

"But Jubes, what the hell-" 

"Hey Marie, wanna go on a ride?" 

Rogue jumps up in terror.  "Oh God, no!  Just, you, just, you stay away from me!  Just AHHHHHHHHH!!!" she bit out as she fled the scene leaving a very puzzled Logan behind. 

He turned an accusatory stare on Jubilee.  "What.  Did.  You.  Do?" 

"Hey there, Cujo, I did nothing.  Just, um he-he.  Rogue listens to some sort of subliminal-sleeping tape, and uh Kitty and I decided it would kinda be funny to slip in a 'Wierd Al' tape in there, and uh just, um I really, need to go now!" Jubilee, who valued her life, immediately took off after her friend. 

Logan slumped in the chair to think of a plan.  Part one: find out who the hell Weird Al was, he had to be horrible if Marie was apparently mistaking Logan for that guy.  Part two:  kill him.  It was a good plan, and Logan wasn't kidding. 


End file.
